SHE DOESN’T LOVE YOU

“I love you,” is easily said, but not easily lived.

Love is a word we use to mean many different things. We say we love our dog, a good hamburger, a nice quilt, a good compliment, and a romantic love interest. The word is far too quickly used in new relationships and often still repeated even after all the love is gone.

But saying you love someone doesn’t mean you actually do. Just because someone says they love you doesn’t mean they actually do. How is a man to know if a woman is telling him the truth? Thankfully, her actions tell the real story. When her actions match her words, her love is true. When they don’t, it is fair to question.

Here are 5 Signs She Doesn’t Love You

Here are 5 common actions from women who aren’t in love:

1. She won’t talk to you. Many women open up their lives for those they love. They desire to be known and a key element to being known is through telling our story. Husbands often misunderstand this about wives. When she is telling you about her day, she isn’t just reciting facts. She is letting you into her heart. When a woman reduces communication with a man, it’s a sign that she doesn’t love him.

2. She won’t sacrifice for you. Few things are as sacrificial as a woman in love. Look at a mom with her newborn–her love causes her to never question her sacrifice. So it is when a woman loves a man. She sacrifices for him (just as he should sacrifice for her). While many women could do better to be a little more “selfish” about their time and dreams, when a woman refuses to sacrifice for a man, it’s a clear sign she doesn’t love him. She might enjoy him. She might be using him. But she isn’t loving him.

3. She doesn’t admire you. Women can have a parental love for those they don’t respect, but they can’t have a romantic love without admiration. They can lust after someone who isn’t admirable, but they can not love him. Women respect those they love. I often see this played out in a negative way in marriages when a woman loses respect for her husband because of laziness or poor choices. In those situations, her love can quickly fade. If a woman doesn’t admire you, she doesn’t love you.

4. She doesn’t honor your mom/family. Men do not operate well when they are caught between their mom and their significant other. Men want both women happy. While not every mother or family deserves total respect, a woman in love will honor your mom just for being your mom. She might disagree with your mother’s decisions or not appreciate aspects of her personality, but she will do her best to honor the woman you call mom. She will also honor your family. Within proper boundaries, she will do her part because of her love for you. If a woman won’t honor your family, she probably won’t honor you.

5. She won’t put you above her friends. It’s been said that when a woman enters into a serious relationship, she loses 1-2 friends. Why? Because there is only so much time a person can give. Friendship requires quality and quantity time together2. Women (and men) need good relationships outside of dating or marriage, but those relationships must come second to the one they love. When a woman continually chooses her friends over you, it’s a sign she doesn’t love you.

Early in a relationship, a woman is under no obligation to love you. As a matter of fact, if she falls in love too quickly with you, I would run. 

However, there comes a time in which she must decide if she is in or out of the relationship. In those moments, she can say a lot of things, but whether or not she loves you will be defined more by her actions than her words.